Addiction and Loved Ones

I won’t understand completely, because I am not in their shoes. BUT I am sharing shoes with a bunch of us that will never understand, but want to help. So many of my friends around me are going through a little more than just the “this is high school, lets get fucked up” phase. We are or should be past that. When it comes to friends, I have to distance myself from that. It’s not that I don’t love these people, but I can see that there’s no getting through to them. Call me a quitter, IDC! You can only try for so long until you are just physically and mentally exhausted. You can only try for so long until they start pulling you into the darkness. I for one will not be making myself known for what someone else is doing to themselves. On the other hand, when it comes to family… I get SOOOO infuriated. Someone please help me understand how to take this one head on. I can see it. I can see it in their every day motions. I can see it in their eyes, their attitude, sleeping all the time, etc. It’s so frustrating because I knew them before the drugs. I knew that positive attitude and smile. I knew that I could always count on them. Maybe that’s why I get so mad. How can someone just sleep all day (crashing) and once waking up doing it all over again?! I’ve never wanted to shake someone so hard! Day after day I sit here thinking what is this world coming to? I’ve got friends doing cocaine and more acting like God put it on this Earth to digest every day of our lives. Some family members doing more than that. It’s so hard to watch. Knowing that if they make it to 30 years from now, they will be in jail or .. like I said above… will they even make it? This stuff weighs on my heart, and I wish I could do so much more to help. Hard to help when they chose to surround themselves by people who are doing the same or even worse. When will it end? Is a question I am proposing for the addicts. When will you wake up and start to love yourself? When will you wake up and start having respect for the people that truly care about you and stop putting them through the worry that haunts them every minute of every day that you are away? Don’t you want to be more? Become what is more than you will ever amount to while doing your drug of choice. By continuing you could amount to be NOTHING. Nothing can be taken in two ways. First, you could be a no job-non successful nothing ass, or you could literally be nothing. Dead. 6 feet under. Today is just as good as any other to start over and to start fresh. NO it’s not easy, but you have the support system necessary to get you where you want to be. If you are without a support system seek one. A friend that will listen. A group. A church. You can overcome this. All you have to do it try…. Sorry to get so deep this early in the morning, but this has been weighing on me a lot lately. Regardless if you are the addict or a lover of an addict, be a better you. We can always improve. Love one another, and be kind.

With Love

AshleyB